Making a hard choice My decision to have gastric bypass

 

 I’ve been talking about my journey—my struggles with weight, grief, and trying to find my way forward. But what I haven’t shared is how I’ve chosen to move forward.

I’ve decided to get gastric bypass surgery. It wasn’t an easy decision. In fact, it was one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made. Surgery isn’t a quick fix. It’s expensive, it’s scary, and it forces you to face yourself in ways you never imagined. But after months of trying to push through on my own, I realized that this is the right step for me.

I’ve been in this process for six months now, going through all the evaluations, tests, and requirements. Every step has made it more real. And as much as I try to stay strong, I won’t lie—I’m scared. Am I allowed to say that? Because I am. I’m scared of the surgery itself, of how my body will change, and of the unknown that comes after.

I have an amazing supporter in my aunt, and I am so grateful for her. But beyond that, I feel like I’m doing this alone. Chenelle was my other sounding board, and her absence is deafening. She would have been the first one to tell me, “Girl, do what you gotta do. Stop doubting yourself.” And maybe she would’ve cussed me out a little for hesitating.

It’s hard making life-changing decisions without the people you love most. But I keep telling myself that this is for me. That I deserve to live, not just exist. That even though I feel alone, maybe I’m not. Maybe someone else out there is struggling with the same fears, the same loneliness, the same doubts.

And if just one person reads this and understands what I’m feeling, maybe neither of us is as alone as we think.

---